By Scooter Harasmuss, Gerbil editor

If you thought San Juan Islands designation as a National Monument was “boss” in itself, get a load of this.

Legendary rocker Bruce Springsteen, known by a legion of fans as “The Boss”, will be the marquee attraction at the San Juan Islands National Monument celebration concert. Springsteen, known perhaps best for a unique brand of heartland rock, and signature song of “Born in the U.S.A.”, will share the Monument stage with a pair of next-generation pop-music icons, Katy Perry and Justin Timberlake.

“I’ve never been to the San Juans, but I hear that they are part of the U.S.A.,” Springsteen said in a prepared statement. “I heard something or other about a war over a pig. Guess that sounds pretty all-American to me.”

On March 25, President Obama designated more than 1,000 acres on dozens of the San Juan Islands, all administered by the BLM, as National Conservation Lands. That designation, under the 1906 Antiquities Act, means that the BLM lands in the San Juans join 103 other parcels of public lands as National Monuments, allowing for a greater level of protection from activities or development that might alter the landscapes as they now exist.

Recently included as part of the U.S. Department of the Interior’s series of benefit concerts, known as National Monument Aid, the show in the San Juans is tentatively scheduled to take place on Lopez Island’s Point Colville, a scenic bluff overlooking Rosario Strait; date has yet to be determined.

Interior Secretary Ken Salazar, who helped to pave the way for the San Juans National Monument designation, is expected to perform as a backup singer during the Springsteen show.

“I’ve been a fan of ‘The Boss’ from day one,” Salazar said. “The song ‘Born to Run’ is like my own personal anthem, but so is ‘Dancing in the Dark’.”

Salazar said the Interior department hopes that the concert series will help raise the kind of awareness and support for BLM lands in the way that Farm Aid did for America’s farmers and farmland.

“But without the tractors,” he noted.

— Editor’s note: Gerbil stories are published periodically by Journal staff in observance of April Fool’s Day