USS Enterprise solves island housing crisis in one fell swoop

By Kerley Babcomb-Bartalk • April 1, 2023 1:30 am
Kerley Bascomb-Batrok staff photo The USS Enterprise arrives in Friday Harbor to be put into service as an affordable housing solution for the community. Her flight deck alone spans 4.47 acres, with a width of 252 feet, which will provide ample room for a large outdoor park complete with covered stage for music venues, a large community center, walking trails, a public playground and public restrooms.
Kerley Bascomb-Batrok staff photo The USS Enterprise arrives in Friday Harbor to be put into service as an affordable housing solution for the community. Her flight deck alone spans 4.47 acres, with a width of 252 feet, which will provide ample room for a large outdoor park complete with covered stage for music venues, a large community center, walking trails, a public playground and public restrooms.

EDITOR’S NOTE: APRIL FOOLS!

“The affordable housing issues has been solved!” exclaimed Friday Harbor Mayor Ray Jokesonyoo during an official Town of Friday Harbor joint press conference held April 1, along the Friday Harbor shoreline. Attendees of the press conference also included representatives of the Port of Friday Harbor, OPALCO, and the United States Navy.

According to Jokesonyoo, the United States Navy has stepped up to assist the community with its housing shortage by mooring the previously mothballed aircraft carrier USS Enterprise along the outer breakwater of the Port of Friday Harbor.

“With the addition of the USS Enterprise,” states Jokesonyoo, “the community will now have ample housing opportunities well into the future, and the islands will experience a significant increase in tourism due to the unusual addition to our town’s scenic skyline.”

The USS Enterprise, at a length of 1,123ft, is considered to be the longest carrier in the US Navy. The flight deck spans 4.47 acres, with a width of 252 feet, which will provide ample room for a large outdoor park complete with a covered stage for music venues, a large community center, walking trails, a public playground and public restrooms.

“The USS Enterprise can comfortably sleep 4,600 people,” said Master Chief Petty Officer Trader Brawn, Command Master Chief of Naval Base Kitsap, where the USS Enterprise had been mothballed until pulled back into service to assist Friday Harbor. “We are thrilled to return the ‘Big E’ to service, providing Friday Harbor with more than enough beds to support the community well into the future.”

The Enterprise also comes complete with two nuclear reactors which will not only provide all the power needed for her current housing mission, but discussions are underway with Orcas Power and Light Cooperative to tap into her reactors to provide power to the entire county.

This collaborative effort with the US Navy not only solves our housing problems in one fell swoop,” says OPALCO Board Member Vinny Dockonus, “but potentially aids us with the pending challenges we were otherwise going to face in the years to come due to the politics of energy, global economic uncertainties, and climate change. This arrangement dramatically improves our electrical and communications infrastructure increasing efficiency, security, safety, and adaptability while securing additional external power sources to our electric cooperative.”