Gabe Herda says being a father was something he always wanted to be.

“For me, the meaning of being a father is being present and available,” says Herda. “and obviously helping them through the early years of schooling, and life, and just really being there. It’s a big, big part of my life.”

Herda has two children, Sidney—who graduated from Friday Harbor High School Saturday, June 10—and Sam, currently an eighth grader at Friday Harbor Middle School.

Herda says that for him and his wife Jennifer (also a Friday Harbor grad, Class of ‘88) the decision to have children was planned, and came at a good time in their life.

“We were ready,” said Herda, “because we didn’t get married until 32. We had our first child at 34. I mean, we had stable work, we had a home, it was all very amazing that way. It’s not that way for everyone. But having waited, I felt like we were ready.”

Herda says has enjoyed every minute of being a father. “I’m grateful that I made that decision, and that it worked out to be a father. Just being there for your kids, and enjoying all the stuff they do and watching them grow. It’s been just amazing. They’re so focused and Sid is 100% into the theater, so that’s nice to watch that passion. And keep doing it. You know, it’s great!”

For some, fatherhood is a chance to break from the past and create a brighter future for a new generation. For Herda raising children was an opportunity to change habits of the past and raise children in a healthy, nurturing environment filled with love and support.

“It’s wonderful,” said Herda. “We’ve been in the same house for 25 years. That’s totally different than what I knew, and my kids know that. I mean, their truth is stability, both parents around their whole life living on the same island, the same place.

“The islands are really safe for them, and very comfortable, and they know what to expect,” adds Herda. “But at the same time, I think it’s highly sheltered, and in many things, from walking down the street to driving a car, to being safe, that’s not a given everywhere. Yet here, it’s pretty much a given. So yeah, time will tell how some kids move and come back quickly and some kids never come back. And, you know, it’s just I think it’s an idyllic place to grow up. For both my kids.”

For Herda Father’s Day is not a particularly special day, every day being a father is! “I don’t need to hang a day on it. It’s Father’s Day all year. You know, you’re expected to do your part as a father all year, so it’s nice to be recognized – I mean, we all know it’s really about Mother’s Day – but that’s another story.”

“But it’s nice, you know, it’s nice to be recognized. But really that part is not as meaningful as just doing the father thing the whole year and screwing up and knowing you’ve screwed up and having to go back and make your amends and try and do it differently. And, and all that stuff we all do because it’s not easy.”

While Herda loves being a father, he is quick to credit his wife Jennifer with being the heart and soul of the family. “Jen’s an amazing mother and our kids always have had 100% support, which is nice. While I grew up differently Jennifer grew up that way, so she knew it. So I get a whole template for success if I just watch and learn and be a part.”